accountability and listage..

A brahma bull and his son are roaming their pasture one fine spring morning, when they crest a hill and see a whole herd of new cows down in the valley. The son, giddy with spring hormones, shouts “DAD! DAD! Look at all those women! Let’s run down and screw one of ’em!”

The father simply shakes his head and says “No, son, we’re not going to do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because: we’re going to strut down there, and fuck ’em ALL.”

* * * * *

The above story has turned into shorthand between Sunshine and I when discussing scenarios and planning — generally, I have a single response: “Fuck ’em all.” This means that when scenario planning and considering my options, I opt to find the path that allows me to take advantage of all of my options.

Of course, that often leads me to having too many options and too many scenarios open, leaving me seemingly indecisive and passive. It can turn into a mode of “wait and see” dialed way back into torpor.

I had cause to be clicking back through entries, and found this list that I put in on New Years’ Day. And as I re-read it, I realized that I haven’t really made much progress against any of it.

So I figured that I needed to keep at it, start identifying shorter-term steps on each of these goals, as a way of fighting the battle bit by bit…

  • Read more — the goal here is to read 24 books this year. So far, I’ve read just one:
    • Scavenger’s Guide to Haute Cuisine: I really dug this book.
  • Photography and this blog — the goal here is to take more pictures and post more on this blog. I’ve really taken to Instagram, but that doesn’t really translate back to this blog. Still, getting out of town and seeing some inspiring waterfalls has helped already. I just need to focus on making more opportunities and getting more images in, not just via Instagram.
  • Health — the goal here is multiple:
    • Lose 50 more pounds: I’ve been focusing on a ketogenic approach, and so far it has worked really well (I’m down 7.8 pounds so far this year). I struggle with sugar, but keeping my mind focused on a low carb consumption rate really helps me to contextualize things better. I’ve probably pushed myself out of ketosis with how I’ve screwed up the past few days, but I can feel myself getting really geared up for a good solid focus on succeeding.
    • Get to the doctor: we’ve picked a local doc, and I’ve filled out the new patient paperwork, with a first appointment way the hell in April. But I’m hoping being on his cancellation list will get me in sooner. There’s lots to cover there, but it all starts with the first step…
    • Get to the dentist: feh. I want to talk to the doctor first. My dentition is a fucking nightmare, and I have no one else to blame but myself. At this point, I despair of what the right approach is; I would rather not engage in a bunch of wishful thinking if the endgame is obvious. We shall see…
  • Entrepreneurialism — the goal here is to create some passive revenue streams. I have ideas for some mobile apps, which begets a whole sequence of steps necessary to getting there:
    • Teach myself iOS and Android coding: I have not done serious coding in a long time, but it used to be my best skill. I want to either get back to this or decide once and for all that I am no longer for coding. The mobile space is still the Wild, Wild West, in that a small one- or two-person shop can do everything needed. It’s time for me to figure out if I can be that one-man shop…
    • Spec out the app ideas, either to solidify in my mind the design I’m going for, or to be able to get someone to help out with the coding. But first, a spec is in order.
    • Update/upgrade my personal workstation: my iMac is six years old and seriously slow. I am still holding out hope that the transition to Mavericks will get me back a bunch in performance, but it seems less and less likely. There are dropouts and sags in performance almost constantly, and more often than not I find myself staring at the spinning pinwheel waiting for something to happen. That will seriously impede my motivation to learn new shit, so I gotta get that sorted. Maybe I’ll pick up a Macbook Air? The smallest models are under a grand…
  • Travel — we’re targeting Iceland for Spring Break, but that may be difficult to swing financially. Funds may not show up in time for us to get everything arranged: for now, I’m insisting that “we’ll figure things out” without really know how we’ll do that. But I often find that when it comes to financial things, it is often best to wait and put it out in the universe that things are wanting to happen. So…
  • Camping, hiking, backpacking, stargazing — I haven’t put a goal to this yet, as Sunshine’s school requires a lot of her time and energy, and that makes planning difficult. I should put a couple of things on the map and see how it goes…
    • Identify 2-3 backpacking/camping trips to take this year and figure out what the best scheduling approach is for them.
  • Gardening — the goal this year is to start an herb garden. I have lots to learn on this front, and I think I’m going to build a planter to put on our porch.
    • Do some research: when should everything be ready to start burying seeds?
  • Hunting — so much to do here:
    • Shooting:
      • Get a permit
      • Get lessons
      • Get a gun (or two) (or nine)
    • Hunting:
      • Get up to Bob’s shop and talk to his neighbor, who seems willing to school a neophyte
      • Find other opportunities to learn/get familiar with hunting in the area
    • Butchery:
      • Find a local class/workshop to start getting into this
      • Smoking meats…
      • Sausage making…
      • Getting a chest freezer
    • Bow hunting? Bird hunting?
  • Meditation — the goal here is to manage stress better. Seems that I can go five or six days with some meditation before bed, and then I fall off the wagon and go five or six days without. I need to get more disciplined here. Also, is it possible that I should be engaging in my practice in the morning, instead of the evening? Seems to bear some more reading and experimentation.
  • Screen printing — the goal here is get myself in a position to be able to print again. It seems like the only plausible scenario is to get my home setup going again — I despair of that because the basement isn’t really good for me to work in (I’m about two inches too tall and spending any extended amount of time down there results in anxiety for me). Also, getting organized for good printing takes a lot of expensive gear — yes, I know you can buy shitty half-assed Speedball kits at an art store for $50, but I already know that I would not be satisfied with the results of working with those tools. So, this will take some focus and energy on figuring out the right approach. If I could just find a local printing co-op, that would be ideal…
  • Poker — the goal here is to grow my bankroll. However, this is impeded because of the shitty implementation of geofencing on the New Jersey sites: as often as not, when I log on, the geofencing seems to think I am not in New Jersey and will not let me play. This is especially problematic because there are times when it lets me play, lets me sign into a tournament, and then later decides I am no longer in New Jersey and boots me off. This is seriously tilting, and has kept me from playing much online.
    • Log in to both Borgata and at least three times a week and get some hands in if you can.
    • Check out the other sites live in New Jersey — maybe some are better with the geofencing than others.
    • Get out to live tournaments: PLAY THAT GODDAMN PLO TOURNAMENT NEXT WEDNESDAY AT HARRAH’S. (Ugh. We only have one car. Investigate public transpo?)

I find that I need to put a couple more goals on here, more in the mind of getting some of my precious time back:

  • LIMIT SOCIAL MEDIA TIME. Holy fuck I spend way too much time dicking around on Facebook/Twitter/Reddit/Tumblr. I really gotta limit that.
  • NO ZERO DAYS. Each day, make some traction on at least one goal. DO SOMETHING.